Coach Fairbell from 'Those Who Can't' on TruTV. My comedy album 'Hit the Dick Lights' is on iTunes!
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This fucker in front of me is washing his car like it's heading into surgery.
2 hours ago / 0 Retweets / 14 Likes
Hmmm my dog has been quiet and out of sight for five minutes, so something I cherish has been shredded.
7 days ago / 2 Retweets / 22 Likes
I watched 'A Dog's Purpose' last night and they seem to have skipped my dog's purpose: tracking his own diarrhea into the house.
9 days ago / 1 Retweets / 41 Likes
🎶Go, Cubs, go! Go, Cubs, go! Gotta get back to the White House to give Trump a new fucking jersey🎶 https://t.co/Vu1h3a00YJ
10 days ago / 0 Retweets / 5 Likes